Passover seder: the perfect Jewish recipe

Second, sharing Jewish festivals with our families is important to many of us – indeed, over half of all Jews in Europe say that it is ‘very important.’ That doesn’t necessarily mean we always enjoy doing so, but we value it. Indeed, when we ask Jews what matters to them about their Jewishness, this familial element always comes close to the top of the list. ‘Feeling part of the Jewish people’ occupies a similar place, and arguably, there is no greater opportunity to feel that connection than at a time when so many Jews all over the world are essentially doing the same thing.

Third, evidence suggests that what we do Jewishly in our homes – more than in synagogues, schools, youth movements and pretty well anywhere else – has the greatest statistical impact on who we ultimately become as Jews. The home environment is most formative; if we get that right, we maximise our chances of success.

And fourth, at the core of the seder experience is the multi-sensory telling of the foundational narrative of the Jewish People. By narrative, I mean ‘big’ story – the kind of profound story that sociologists and educators say shapes our understanding of who we are and how we ought to behave. The Passover story plays that role in Judaism. It’s not just a biblical tale; by reminding us of our origins, our slavery and our redemption, it gives us our moral compass.

Creating a positive Jewish experience

In essence then, on seder night, in Jewish homes all over the world, numerous Jews gather with their families to celebrate a major Jewish holiday, while discussing our shared narrative through food and song – the perfect recipe for creating Jewish memories and leaving lasting Jewish impressions. Indeed, because of this, irrespective of what we actually do on seder night, we can be reasonably confident it will have an impact on those present. And critically, because it is such a fundamental Jewish experience, that impact can be positive or negative.

So I would pay very close attention to the adjectives people use to describe their seder experience. If the seder is tedious, they are learning that Judaism is tedious. If the seder is warm and inviting, they are learning that Judaism is warm and inviting. If the seder is contentless, they are learning that Judaism is contentless. If seder is rich in meaning, they are learning that Judaism is rich in meaning. In short, the seder is Judaism in microcosm, and whatever values, ideas and feelings we convey during it will be experienced by others as everything that is good – or bad – about what Judaism has to offer.

So here’s a thought. Ask yourself what three adjectives you would ideally want your children or grandchildren to use when describing their Judaism. Then apply those adjectives to your seder – make it everything you wish their Judaism to be. This, after all, is the big annual opportunity. And have no doubt: it will leave its mark, of whatever kind, whether we like it or not.